[Hidden-tech] safe surfing tips

[Tom Adams- Reelife Productions]

as usual... it looks like there many, many truths / many sides to the  
story.

thanks for all your input on the best browser filter for my daughter.  
I'm all set now.

Regards,

Tom Adams
(from iPhone)
(413) 575-9707
Director, Editor, Videographer• www.reelifeproductions.com
High quality photography prints & products• www.Folktographybytom.com
Portal• web.me.com/reelifeproductions


On Nov 9, 2009, at 9:51 PM, Shel Horowitz <shel at frugalfun.com> wrote:

>   ** Be sure to fill out the survey/skills inventory in the member's  
> area.
>   ** If you did, we all thank you.
>
>
> At 4:52 PM -0500 11/9/09, Maria Korolov (Trombly) wrote:
>>   ** Be sure to fill out the survey/skills inventory in the  
>> member's area.
>>   ** If you did, we all thank you.
>>
>> Keep in mind that a lot of the scaremongering is way overblown.
>>
>> Most kids are hurt by relatives or other people close to them. Most
>> rapes of children are statutory -- cases where the boyfriend is only
>> slightly older than the victim, and the relationship is otherwise
>> consensual.
>
> Yes, this is true. And the next largest category is abuse by family
> members/family friends where it is not consenual, but far from a
> stranger.
>
>>
>> Cases of stranger rape are tiny --
>
> But not unknown. I was raped by a stranger when I was about 11--yes,
> it happens to boys too, sometimes. It happened when I was bringing
> back groceries from a supermarket about two blocks form my house,
> broad daylight. I was also beaten up a few times, threatened more
> often, shaken down for money numerous times--but these were by my
> peers, not adults. My mom knew about some of the shakedowns but not
> the rape. She offered to sign me up for a self-defense class. I
> declined
>
>> and cases where the initial contact is made over the internet are
>> smaller still.
>>
>> Most arrests of criminals happen because of law enforcement officers
>> posing as children actively seeking contact. For example, in chat
>> rooms devoted to sex, where the officer makes provocative comments
>> designed to draw attention -- not by harmless Facebook posts. In
>> real life, this is equivalent to going out to a truck stop in the
>> middle of the night in fishnet stockings. Which some teenagers do,
>> in fact, do.
>
> Are you saying that most kid-sex arrests are made through entrapment?
>
> At 5:22 PM -0500 11/9/09, Chris Hoogendyk wrote:
>>> I'm of two minds about this. On the other hand, I feel that today's
>>> kids are total wimps. I led a MUCH more dangerous life when I was
>>> their age. On the other hand, my kids are much, much safe than I and
>>> my brothers were.
>>
>> I would agree, perhaps on both counts. We hear a lot more about bad  
>> news
>> items, because bad news travels so far and fast. I wonder if all that
>> stuff went on when I was a kid, and we just didn't hear about it.  
>> Maybe
>> we're getting freaked out about 1 in a million odds, while accepting
>> more probable risks because they aren't so freaky and don't get the  
>> news
>> coverage. Not to say we shouldn't take intelligent precautions. We  
>> should.
>
> Yes, see above. Bad things happened regularly, but were much less
> talked about. There was tremendous shame. I'm sure my parents would
> have been extremely supportive if I had told them what happened to
> me, but I never had the courage. On some level, I just knew that
> there would be enormous social stigma, and that this was something
> that wasn't supposed to happen to boys. I felt too dirty and ashamed
> to talk about it to *anyone* for about five years--and then it was a
> peer I trusted.
>
>>
>> I always took the approach (with regard to the internet) of trying to
>> inform my children so that they could look out for themselves.
>
> Yes, we took a similar approach.
>
>> My
>> daughter's were playing at the keyboard when they were 2. I don't  
>> recall
>> how old they were when they had their own AOL accounts. I'm guessing
>> middle elementary school. They always had aliases and always knew  
>> never
>> to give out any personal information that could be used to identify  
>> or
>> locate them. My younger daughter's best friend is someone she met  
>> in the
>> Harry Potter fan fiction forums (they were both author/editors and  
>> one
>> was a moderator). They only knew each other by aliases for several
>> years. Eventually, they gradually let their guards down, started to
>> video chat, and became even closer. Sometime during high school, they
>> had a movie slumber party where they each queued up the same movie on
>> their laptops, put their chat sessions into voice only mode, and  
>> clicked
>> the movie at the same instant. So they were watching the movie  
>> together
>> and occasionally talking and giggling. Early college age, they had a
>> smores party -- video chat with candles on their desks and toasting
>> marshmallows on toothpicks (the friend had never had smores before).
>> Finally, last summer, my daughter, now 21, flew out to Illinois to  
>> visit
>> her. Their whole family knew my daughter by her alias and couldn't
>> change their habit of referring to her by that.
>
> What a great story, Chris!
>
>>
>> I think if a child is *too* protected, then they might not be  
>> prepared
>> to fend for themselves when they need to.
>
> That is so, so true! I really worry about all these overprotected
> kids and what kind of survival skills they can possibly have built
> up. We have even let our kids (when together, not alone) explore
> foreign cities, and they've been fine.
>
>> I don't mean down the road,
>> when they are on their own; but, in the near term when they run  
>> into a
>> threatening situation. That said, I have always tried to look out for
>> them as well, while at the same time letting them look out for
>> themselves -- in other words, keeping an eye out while they make
>> informed decisions on their own.
>
> An excellent policy.
>
>> I still have trouble not staying up
>> when my younger daughter is out late, even though she may be just
>> babysitting my granddaughter; but, I'm also confident that she can  
>> take
>> care of herself about as well as any young woman. I think she is a  
>> lot
>> more informed than I was at her age, even though I was married and  
>> on my
>> own.
>
> My wife is the same way--but she mostly worries about car accidents.
> We've inculcated our kids with the importance of staying in
> communication. If they're going to be late, they call. And if the
> person driving them starts drinking, they know they can call us and
> get a non-judgmental ride.--and so do we. My daughter's now been
> driving three years, and my son has his permit. THAT has been scary a
> few times.
> -- 
>
> _________________________________________________
> Shel Horowitz - 413-586-2388/ shel at frugalfun.com
> -->Join the Business Ethics Pledge - Ten Years to Change the World,
> One Signature at a Time  (please tell your friends)
> <http://www.business-ethics-pledge.org>
> Marketing consulting * copywriting * publishing assistance * speaking
> How to market ethically/effectively: http://www.frugalmarketing.com
> Ethics Blog:  http://www.principledprofit.com/good-business-blog/
> Books: http://www.frugalmarketing.com/shop.html
> _________________________________________________
> _______________________________________________
> Hidden-discuss mailing list - home page: http://www.hidden-tech.net
> Hidden-discuss at lists.hidden-tech.net
>
> You are receiving this because you are on the Hidden-Tech Discussion  
> list.
> If you would like to change your list preferences, Go to the Members
> page on the Hidden Tech Web site.
> http://www.hidden-tech.net/members